Field Notes & a Failure to Thrive

Feverlight

(After Poe)

Exhaustion leaves my limbs resting,
fever perspires—caressing my forehead.
My journals on the nightstand,
pen clutched like a weapon,
blessed robe where last it hung.

A shadow in the distance—
billowing thunder gathers the wind in,
until the frames shake and howl.
Weary from travel, a cough took pleasure in a rattle,
and in my swelling chest began knocking on my rib cage.

Each shadow growing longer,
a field mouse scurries yonder.
I wonder if it’s my imagination,
or dreams slinking down the hall.

My robe tie flickers across the bow of my bed frame—
a chill tracing my flesh made me scream.
At the edge, my toes retreat,
to tangle themselves in sheets,
as the mouse—teeth gnashing, eyes lit and flashing—
drags a blush ribbon dancing toward hell.

Come, take this fever with you;
go back through the depths you came through,
and wreak havoc on this body no more.

Yet it ignored my pleas,
and went on with its thieving,
to claim a ring settling on the nightstand.

Glaring without admission,
the bleak creature of my imagination
would not break its stare from me.

This kiss of death upon my temple,
and his malice of torture,
coupled with the knocking—causing gasping—
will be the undoing of this mind.

My pills in their bottle—
I drown them to dull the horror,
and wait for mercy to find me.

When I wake, low clouds linger;
my ring sits upon my finger,
and a robe ribbon lies across my knee.
A songbird at my window,
a coolness to my temple—
leaves me in good company.

Dear reader: 9 days in Ireland followed by 15 days of bed rest at home from a virus I can’t shake and a rogue field mouse. If you can’t make poetry out of that, what can you do?! Happy almost Halloween! I’ll be back soon.

Steeped in Sass

Compost Crimes

The only thing heavier than manure is a price tag

Rob had a plan.
A frugal, muscled, manure-laced plan.
“Why would we pay for compost,” he asked with a straight face,
“when we have tons of it sitting right there in Caspian’s pasture?”

He gestured toward the rolling expanse of the donkey kingdom like it was brimming with untapped riches.
“It’s free!” he said.
“Just a little labor.”

A little labor.

What Rob failed to mention was that this “free” manure came with a multi-step gauntlet of trials.
First, you had to fill a wheelbarrow with the sacred poo—three full loads just to make a dent.
Then came the real test: shoving it over the unforgiving lip of the gate, a move that required either brute force or a rotting shiplap ramp built out of splinters and one good heave.

Or, if you wanted to get fancy, you could slingshot it from the far side—right up against our Alcatraz-grade fence—and pray Caspian didn’t make a break for freedom.

And if by some miracle you managed not to baptize yourself in donkey droppings and drag your prize all the way up the gravel driveway to The Monet Garden—well, you could consider yourself divinely chosen.
Blessed by heaven and flora.


Naturally, when Rob left on a work trip to Miami to fix helicopters (a much cleaner endeavor than air-frying manure), I took matters into my own dirt-smeared hands.

I added bags of pre-composted equine nuggets to the grocery list.
At just over $2 a bag, it was practically a spa treatment—with no donkey braying in the background and no threat of slipping on hockey pucks.

I drove the car right up to the garden gate, lifted each blessed bag out like it was a newborn calf swaddled in black gold, and dropped it like it was fresh.
No shovel wrestling.
No donkey surveillance.
No uphill martyrdom.

And the best part?
I didn’t smell like a barn for three days afterward.


So yes, I technically committed a compost crime.
But in the eyes of tired arms, overburdened wheelbarrows, and delicate nostrils everywhere…
I am the hero this garden needed.

Let him think it came from the pasture.
Let him believe I earned every shovel’s worth with biceps and glutes.
I’ll never tell.

I am woman.
I am gardener.
I am compost criminal—
and I have no regrets.